So little that you wanted...So much that i wasn't.

Looking at it, as it is, seems vaguely strange, vaguely known...
Gray-on-gray circles of smoke, dark, dull, gloom and yet i see you home.
If it's just the hope, it's dying a slow death...
With you gone, i don't feel the rain, don't see the sun.

What took me so long to realize what i did, as i did, seems so not me, yet so me...
When all that mattered was your presence, you let me be, i set you free.
Every morning now, all i do is yell your name, it's so not me, yet so me...
I live with you, have always been, my distant tale, my only story.

I look upon ways to reach you, to be with you, seems so not me, yet so me...
But I'm just a ghost of this road, on my own, counting ways and days to be.
All i need is you, you may have forgotten, you may still know...
Wishing for an end to this road, the one that takes me to you.. or you to me

Never knew, it took so much to fake those smiles, so not me, yet so me...
Never knew, to live again, every once in a while, i had to act like i didn't care.
Yes every night as i walk home, my eyes just well up, and i stand back, aware.
I am with you, and you're with me, but so much so, it's just untrue.

Maybe tomorrow, i would just live on, being without you, but not the same me.
Or maybe all i'll ever need is you, all i'll ever want is you,
It seems so little that we'd hoped for, so much that we'd known.
And i fail to answer why but...
"Seems so little that you wanted, so much that i wasn't"

Rediscovery

Days are cold, nights just getting longer,
I wanna live of hope. God, make me stronger...
The wind that blows, seemingly blows not for me,
It pours down heavily, the rains though fall not for me...

It certainly is me, and me that knows,
I would'nt have been here, had you not been so close...
If i push you know, i'm pushing myself too,
I might just fall of the edge, but i'll still be true..

Brain's so full of things, it just aches to let go,
But then let go of what, let go of what, i don't know...
It's true i don't claim everything i do is what i want,
But then what i want, what i want, i don't know...

I'm fighting my own guts, fighting to stay afloat,
I'm just in so deep, no one sees me, no one knows...
I know i've wasted time,  it's a little hard to begin,
But i know it's gonna be me, i'll fight till the end...

Have not lost faith, not in me at all,
Confused i may have been, it's not gonna make me fall...
I'll face myself, my wrongs, my dark,
I'll not back down, not from myself, no i'll not...

This confused me has gotta go, i'll be stronger than myself,
I'll find my way back, i promise, just don't let the past swell...
Walk with me as i bleed, but don't try to cure my pain,
It's my road to rediscovery, it's my road, all the same !!!